I have held previous jobs where I felt just absolutely shitty and felt just completely helpless, not knowing how to dig myself out of the deepest trench in my life. Out of challenging moments and difficult times, you always learn something out of it. Consider it character building–the tough way. I read this today and am sharing this here to remind myself in future:
Among small-business owners and employees, those with a stronger sense that they control what happens to them in life are less likely to become angry, depressed, or agitated when faced with conflicts and strains on the job. But those who feel little control are more prone to getting upset or even quitting.
In a study of 7,400 men and women in London civil service jobs, those who felt they had to meet deadlines imposed by someone else and had little say in how they did their work or with whom they did it had a 50 percent higher risk of developing symptoms of coronary heart disease than those with more job flexibility. Feeling little control over the demands and pressures of the work we have to do holds as a great risk of heart disease as risk factors like hypertension.
That is why, of all the relationships we have at work, the one with our boss has the greatest impact on not just our emotional health, but also our physical health.
There, scientific proof that stress from work can lead to a shorter life. I recall the time where I was committed 200% to my work, absolutely passionate about it, did absolutely nothing else in life but work. Like literally, nothing else. 97% if of my time was work-related and 3% was everything else, like showering, eating, groceries.
And when things went bad, I had the most difficult time coping in my life, since work _was_ my life. It’s the only thing I knew how to do, only thing I wanted to do, and the one thing that was slowly killing me. One of the reasons why I had a tough time was because of the relationship I had with my manager. I cried alone for nights. I would have died if I had I been suffering from any heart disease.
During this time, I also discovered that I sorely misplaced my trust in some I confided with. How naive could I be, to think that at work the workplace, everyone who appeared genuine was really genuine. I don’t take it personal, it’s just one of the many corporate weasels that a young worker is bound to run into into again, in his/her vast work-life ahead. Everyone’s your friend when everything is good. It’s when the tough gets going that you truly see who really is on your side.
Lesson learned there. Suffice to say, I didn’t learn much of how to be a good manager, but I did learn a great deal of how not to be a bad manager. If I ever become a meddlesome middle micro-manager in future, I want someone to point me to this post that I have just written up to remind me that I have become that person I despised so much. Also a great reminder of how as manager, I unintentionally wield the power that may adversely affect the health and well being of those I lead, which I never want to do. Another key takeaway from this experience of mine: nobody can *ever* tell me that I have never worked for someone difficult that completely affected my life.
Throwing your life away at something you absolutely care about but reporting to someone who might as well murder you: check! Been there done that.
Don’t let work stress you out (unless you want to die early), and don’t be a bad boss.
