Jul

18

MS err msg haikus

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Haiku, a kind of Japanese poetry has 3 lines, with exactly 17 syllables: 5 syllables on the first line, 7 on the second, and 5 on the last line.  Here are some Microsoft error message haikus–parody to their mostly unhelpful and empty message.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

And my personal favorite -

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

I got these from this site. Tks, Momo — I did find it funny. Lulz.

Nov

28

Aquarium of viruses and malware goodness

Filed Under geeky, humor, ideas, security research, websense | Leave a Comment

I love pets but am too busy to tend to one. I could take care of a plant, but I can’t take a cactus for a walk. This, seems to be right within my realm! I do security research for Websense, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier!

(click for bigger)
xkcd-network

xkcd is my kinda comic. It’s funny and nerdy. Hmm.. I wonder how I can implement this.

The flatscreen LCD would be the most expensive. Then I’d need a pretty beefy machine (as host) to run that many virtual machines. For visualization, I guess I need to translate their actions into a network graph; for instance, if one machine DDoS’s another machine, the graphic would show one node firing small bullets at another machine rapidly. This sounds pretty cool, actually! MMmmmmm …………..

Update: I liked it so much I stuck up a print out of it on my cube wall:

IMG_2227

Oct

31

Revenge of the nerds?

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Funny, I came across this clip by accident .. and it’s totally hilarious. I think it is anyway. The nerd in me anyway. Check it out (hot chick warning).

A whole TV show on nerds? Is it popular to be a nerd now? :) Hurray for me!!

Okay, so I quasi-stumbled on the clip by accident. It was partially deterministic; I didn’t visit youtube completely by accident. I was looking up a song I heard in the bookstore just now. It was this:

I’m still getting back into my routine from my backpacking marathon. Will update more soon.

Sep

19

cos(x)^2 + sin(x)^2 =1

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I love geeky humor and recently joined a group on Facebook called that I fell in love with at first sight: “You be sinx^2 and I’ll be cosx^2 and together we’ll be one” Cute, and I love it.

For the uninformed, it’s a trigonometric identity. Looks like I’ve weeded you off my potential date list :D

Aug

26

Interesting IQ test

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I love puzzles, they drive me nuts. Especially IQ type puzzles. I am kind of busy with a todo list to complete today, so I couldn’t spend much time on this test, but it’s entertaining and I wanted to recommend to my readers (who are bored) to take this test. It turns out, I only scored “somewhat intelligent” ;(

http://intelligence-test.net/part1/

Scoring: 1 to 5 is Average, 6 - 11 Somewhat Intelligent, 12 to 18 Intelligent, 19 + Genius

In the interest of upfront disclosure, I _did_ try to cheat. When I noticed that the web app was doing client side verification of the answers, I poked around the javascript source to if I could find the answers. However, the smart asses who came up with this obviously also thought of people like me. The answers are hardcoded, but as a 1-way SHA-1 hash — that would require a supercomputer and lots of time to crack. I just thought I’d mention that to save you some time, just incase you thought of doing what I tried to do.

:P

Jun

21

#!/usr/bin/perl -w joke

Filed Under geeky, humor | 2 Comments

The following is a Perl (the programming language) joke. If you didn’t know what Perl was prior to the “the programming language” explanation, then don’t bother clicking. But if you do, this is funny! :D

http://www.qwantz.com/comics/guest6/guest_qwantz_aLp.jpg

May

9

Programmer or serial killer?

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A test of nerdiness. I guess trivia buffs would do well too. Take the test!

Thanks, Ian.

May

2

Windows Vista’s speech recognition for programming Perl

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I laughed my ass off on this one :D

Hat tip to my co-worker Eric!

Apr

26

Difference between a normal person and a scientist

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Sadly, I might not be normal. I would say “Hmm, interesting .. let’s see if we can reproduce the problem”.

But hey, I pride myself in being a computer scientist who likes to experiment/study and solve problems, so there!

[=

Mar

17

Happy St. Patty’s

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Happy St. Patricks! Wear your green or I will pinch you :p

This video clip is funny as hell. Thanks Julie!

Feb

27

Ecological limit to paper pushers

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It seems to me that there must be an ecological limit to the number of paper pushers the earth can sustain, and that human civilization will collapse when the numbers of, say, tax lawyers exceeds the world’s population of farmers, weavers, fisherpersons and pediatric nurses.
– Author unknown

Dec

20

Cartoon: How software is really made

Filed Under engineering, geeky, humor, uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Funny picture description of how software is really made in a bloated big corp. Thanks Carny.

Sep

29

Web proxy appliance performance

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This is a true (or fictional - for plausible deniability reasons) story at Websense:

Prospective customer: What kind of load will the Resilience Netsquad 05 handle?

Sales representative: I don’t know, why don’t you try throw an elephant on top of it?

Courtesy of Nigel Atkinson.

Sep

15

Nerdy jokes — math geeks inquire within

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I read it from this blog: http://immense-world.blogspot.com/2006/09/mathematics-genius.html

Thanks Carny.

Aug

30

Statistics - the new bling

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My kind of geeky humor! 4:33 minute clip warning.

I am reminded of myself when I saw that take-himself-too-seriously guy (scene at 3:52). Just kidding. Ha ha.

Jul

13

Mole problems?

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Got Mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6.02 x 10^23.

Jun

13

Cell division and multiplication

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So I logged on to my FreeBSD box this morning .. and saw this joke (warning: geeky humor),

“Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.”

Happy Toosday Mawnin!

May

6

Proof methods

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Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.

SAMPLE: To prove that horses have an infinite number of legs.
1. Horses have an even number of legs.
2. They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.
3. This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd
number of legs for a horse.
4. But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity.
5. Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.

Topics to be covered in future issues include proof by:
1. Intimidation
2. Gesticulation (handwaving)
3. "Try it; it works"
4. Constipation (I was just sitting there and ...)
5. Blatant assertion
6. Changing all the 2's to n's
7. Mutual consent
8. Lack of a counterexample, and
9. "It stands to reason"

May

5

The value of Pi

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The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.  This
also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.

-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers

May

4

New PDP-11 instruction set

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Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

BBW     Branch Both Ways
BEW     Branch Either Way
BBBF    Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BH      Branch and Hang
BMR     Branch Multiple Registers
BOB     Branch On Bug
BPO     Branch on Power Off
BST     Backspace and Stretch Tape
CDS     Condense and Destroy System
CLBR    Clobber Register
CLBRI   Clobber Register Immediately
CM      Circulate Memory
CMFRM   Come From -- essential for truly structured programming
CPPR    Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRN     Convert to Roman Numerals