Archive for the ‘values’ Category

Don’t lie to yourself, it only gets easier over time

Sunday, April 11th, 2010

I feel really compelled to write this, because I honestly hope I never forget this. Hence the reason why I’m filing this under my ‘things to remind myself’ tag. I’ve been learning a lot about people behavior, and even if this is a generally accepted/acknowledged view to you, putting this in writing helps me stand firm if I ever see myself falling into this trap by “writing it on the wall”.

For honest people, deceiving others is wrong. Yeah, but sometimes even the most honest people tell lies (but I’m talking about the big lies, not small ones). To deceive others, you have to first engage in self-deception. You deceive yourself that it’s ok to deceive others. Over time, with practice, it gets easier for honest people to hide the unacceptable parts of themselves, from themselves. If you find yourself glossing over aspects not aligned with your core values, and telling yourself that “everybody does this all the time, it’s not a big deal, life goes on”, then you know you are wrong and you need to stop immediately. Get professional help if you need to, because wrong is wrong, and honest people who take dishonest actions justifies it to themselves in whatever way that lets them still look at the mirror in the morning and not hate themselves – but they absolutely fail to realize that they’ve absolutely fell into “the deep end”.

So don’t fall into this slippery slope, if you start lying to yourself, it will only get easier over time. Don’t. Compromise.

The meaning of meaning

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”

From “Personal Renewal” by John Gardner, posted on PBS. It’s a long post, but full of gems:

We tend to think of youth and the active middle years as the years of commitment. As you get a little older, you’re told you’ve earned the right to think about yourself. But that’s a deadly prescription! People of every age need commitments beyond the self, need the meaning that commitments provide. Self-preoccupation is a prison, as every self-absorbed person finally knows. Commitments to larger purposes can get you out of prison.

Another significant ingredient in motivation is one’s attitude toward the future. Optimism is unfashionable today, particularly among intellectuals. Everyone makes fun of it. Someone said “Pessimists got that way by financing optimists.” But I am not pessimistic and I advise you not to be. As the fellow said, “I’d be a pessimist but it would never work.”

I can tell you that for renewal, a tough-minded optimism is best. The future is not shaped by people who don’t really believe in the future. Men and women of vitality have always been prepared to bet their futures, even their lives, on ventures of unknown outcome. If they had all looked before they leaped, we would still be crouched in caves sketching animal pictures on the wall,

“You’ve known such people — feeling secretly defeated, maybe somewhat sour and cynical, or perhaps just vaguely dispirited. Or maybe they just ran so hard for so long that somewhere along the line they forgot what it was they were running for [...] Life is hard. Just to keep on keeping on is sometimes an act of courage.”

“We learn by accepting the commitments of life, by playing the roles that life hands us (not necessarily the roles we would have chosen). We learn by growing older, by suffering, by loving, by bearing with the things we can’t change, by taking risks.” 

(more…)

Quote of the Week

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

 

[...] These are the July results of a hardworking internet entrepreneur, think 16-20 hours days, including weekends…it’s all about how bad you want it, f$%^ the 4-hour work week you fat lazy American slobs, working hard, and honestly, is the path to righteousness and fulfillment

I admire Tim’s transparency, drive, and laser-sharp focus on execution. He’s also willing to admit mistakes and he is on a benevolent mission to shine the light towards the dark corners in the industry he picked.

And here’s a vid clip of his interview with Wallstrip from some time ago. I’m long on Tim Sykes.

Lessons from the Warrior of the Light

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

I’m definitely a fan of Paulo Coelho, the renowned Brazillian author. He has a unique way of teaching the lessons in life that he has learned through storytelling.

A few lessons from the Warrior of the Light.

Using one’s own madness

A warrior of the light studies very carefully the position he wishes to conquer.

However difficult his objective may be, there is always a way to overcome the obstacles. He verifies the alternative routes, sharpens his sword, and seeks to fill his heart with the perseverance necessary to face the challenge.

But, as he advances, the warrior realizes there are difficulties he had not foreseen at the outset.

If he waits for the ideal moment, he will never move from his position; he sees that a little madness is needed for the next step.

The warrior uses a little madness. Because – in war and in love – one cannot foresee everything.

Life is such that if you wait to gather 100% of every single detail before you can make a decision, others would have surpassed you. If you waited for the fog to clear, then what you see is what everyone else will also see. Given the perfect picture, anyone sane would make the same correct, best choice. This is exactly how *not* to beat the market.

CEOs often make decisions with incomplete data–and that takes a little madness. It’s about making decisions with the best information possible available at that time. Standing still through inaction is waiting to fail–and I’ll fail from action than inaction.

So when do you put yourself out there and wear your heart on your sleeve?
(more…)

The best thing I read today

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Question: Describe your job in one sentence.
Answer: The art of prospering between a rock and a hard place.

That reminds me of a quote:

There are really only two ways to approach life – as victim or as gallant fighter – and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don’t decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
– Merle Shain

Which reminds of awesome book I read titled “The Pathfinder” by Nicholas Lore–which I highly recommend. (Thanks for the recommendation, Becks!)

You can at any moment, take flight on new wings into an unprecedented life making a choice for vitality, for living fully, for LIFE spelled in capital letters. It is, however, an expensive journey. You pay by giving up the familiar, comfortable, everyday ways of living and thinking that are the wages and rewards of going with the flow of your programming.

The willingness to feel fear and keep going forward distinguishes the living from the merely breathing. In fact, it is not just the so-called negative emotions that are uncomfortable. When you choose to live fully, your palate of experiences, thoughts, emotions, and possibilities expands. This leads you onto new ground in other areas of your life as well. And, folks, all that newness swirling around just ain’t comfortable.

The question is not whether to take risks, but which ones to take. The peril of being reasonable is that you will miss all the fun. It’s not enough to cautiously edge your way towards the cliff. Learn to revel in taking risks for the sake of your soul. Every choice you make gives birth instantly to certain risks as surely as your shadow follows you.

(more…)