Apr

8

Lessons from the Warrior of the Light

Filed Under changing the world, entrepreneurship, execution, failure, fear, goal setting, passion, perseverance, quotes, regular reads, self improvement, startup, strategy, things to ponder about, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

I’m definitely a fan of Paulo Coelho, the renowned Brazillian author. He has a unique way of teaching the lessons in life that he has learned through storytelling.

A few lessons from the Warrior of the Light.

Using one’s own madness

A warrior of the light studies very carefully the position he wishes to conquer.

However difficult his objective may be, there is always a way to overcome the obstacles. He verifies the alternative routes, sharpens his sword, and seeks to fill his heart with the perseverance necessary to face the challenge.

But, as he advances, the warrior realizes there are difficulties he had not foreseen at the outset.

If he waits for the ideal moment, he will never move from his position; he sees that a little madness is needed for the next step.

The warrior uses a little madness. Because - in war and in love - one cannot foresee everything.

Life is such that if you wait to gather 100% of every single detail before you can make a decision, others would have surpassed you. If you waited for the fog to clear, then what you see is what everyone else will also see. Given the perfect picture, anyone sane would make the same correct, best choice. This is exactly how *not* to beat the market.

CEOs often make decisions with incomplete data–and that takes a little madness. It’s about making decisions with the best information possible available at that time. Standing still through inaction is waiting to fail–and I’ll fail from action than inaction.

So when do you put yourself out there and wear your heart on your sleeve?
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Mar

18

The best thing I read today

Filed Under career, failure, fear, passion, perseverance, product management, quotes, self improvement, things to ponder about, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

Question: Describe your job in one sentence.
Answer: The art of prospering between a rock and a hard place.

That reminds me of a quote:

There are really only two ways to approach life - as victim or as gallant fighter - and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don’t decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
– Merle Shain

Which reminds of awesome book I read titled “The Pathfinder” by Nicholas Lore–which I highly recommend. (Thanks for the recommendation, Becks!)

You can at any moment, take flight on new wings into an unprecedented life making a choice for vitality, for living fully, for LIFE spelled in capital letters. It is, however, an expensive journey. You pay by giving up the familiar, comfortable, everyday ways of living and thinking that are the wages and rewards of going with the flow of your programming.

The willingness to feel fear and keep going forward distinguishes the living from the merely breathing. In fact, it is not just the so-called negative emotions that are uncomfortable. When you choose to live fully, your palate of experiences, thoughts, emotions, and possibilities expands. This leads you onto new ground in other areas of your life as well. And, folks, all that newness swirling around just ain’t comfortable.

The question is not whether to take risks, but which ones to take. The peril of being reasonable is that you will miss all the fun. It’s not enough to cautiously edge your way towards the cliff. Learn to revel in taking risks for the sake of your soul. Every choice you make gives birth instantly to certain risks as surely as your shadow follows you.

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Feb

20

Ridiculously sick work ethic

Filed Under career, changing the world, did you know, execution, goal setting, passion, people i like, perseverance, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

I’ve never really viewed myself as particularly talented. I’ve viewed myself as slightly above average in talent. And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening, work ethic. You know, while the other guy’s sleeping? I’m working. While the other guy’s eatin’? I’m working. While the other guy’s making love, I mean, I’m making love, too. But I’m working really hard at it.

You can look at the first six episodes of the Fresh Prince and I was so hell bent on not failing that I memorized the entire script. And you can see in certain shots they try to cut around it as much as they can, but I am mouthing the other actor’s lines.

Nuff said, this guy is my hero and role model.

More from CBS.

Feb

9

Randy Komisar

Filed Under business, career, changing the world, innovation, mentoring, passion, people i like, quotes, self improvement, stanford, startup, things to ponder about, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

Randy Komisar, when asked in an interview about how he would ever make his mark at VC firm like Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers when they have a track record of investment home runs like Google says,

It’s a high bar, there’s no question about it. But I don’t feel competitive against that. I mean I think that the goal for me is to help create great talent in great companies, and what I’m hoping that in the process, they create wealth and opportunities for others. That being said, trying to measure up against something like Google as an investment return, that would just make you anxious. I don’t feel very competitive with that. I just hope that I continue to do good work and contribute.

I think that’s great advice. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of benchmarking yourself against a rare one time astronomical success. It only makes you more anxious and cloud your judgement in decision making, spinning you into an uncontrolled perpetual fall downwards. The negative energy just feeds back into the system and snowballs.

I think I have fell into that trap of focusing on the wrong thing. I think the reason why I fell for that is because I am very competitive. It’s only natural that when I see someone doing better than me, that I only want to do even better–to win. I’m not a life-is-a-zero-sum game guy, but I am competitive.

I think the other reason is because sometimes I care too much about what other people think of me. And it is so easy for external parties to view you from the outside and say, “Why can’t he accomplish this feat? Someone else has already done it, and therefore it’s possible. If he can’t do it, then he must be a loser”. It’s easy to benchmark others against the best. Not so funny when others benchmark you the same way.

That’s exactly what happened in that interview. The interviewer asked Randy a question that same line of external judgement: “how do you think you are going to beat the record?” In my opinion, Randy’s answer was perfect, “Look, I know it’s difficult, but I don’t ask myself that every time I go to work, or in every investment decision I mae. I focus on what’s important really here: contributing, creating wealth and opportunities to the best I can” I think I would have bombed that test. I would have said something that displays my naivete like, “oh, that’s nothing–I’ll beat it.” Sounds Dilbert-ish.

Towards the end of the interview, Randy was asked what his recommendation was for people who starting out and looking for a profession. The interviewer asked if he would recommend his own career trajectory he took, for instance. Randy says,

You should question authority, question convention, question other people’s expectations. We live in a day and time when all things are possible for people who have the raw intelligence, energy, and dedication to reinvent things. And that includes reinventing themselves. The shame of it is when smart people conform to conventional expectations and miss out on the opportunities to live a creative life. Within that confine, almost anything can be a great profession and can be a good and purposeful life’s work. But first and foremost, it’s gotta be important to you.

Randy Komisar one of the mentors at the Stanford Technology Ventures Program.

Dec

9

Putting up with grief

Filed Under failure, fear, passion, quotes, self improvement, things to ponder about, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

Retired Stanford business professor James G. March asserts that “short-term reality is an insult to the vision. You have to be self-delusional to create change - it’s a useful craziness guided and founded on your clear identity and knowing what you must do.” What lessons in leadership can be learned from Don Quixote? According to March, “We live in a world that emphasizes realistic expectations and clear successes. Quixote had neither. But through failure after failure, he persists in his vision and his commitment. He persists because he knows who he is.” Builders are not only willing but indeed determined to put up with the grief that results from pursuing their dreams.

The above was from a book review on Amazon. Some powerful stuff. I had to take a few moments after reading that just to fully absorb it.

Sep

30

Matisyahu - Jerusalem

Filed Under people i like, perseverance, songs, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

I like this song by Matisyahu. The lessons it teaches include:

  • Never forget where you came from
  • Doing unethical things (like selling lies to the youth) is not OK, and one day it will catch up with you. There is a price to pay. I like to think of it as “deferred” payback.
  • I have to keep moving, doing my thing, no matter what life throws at me, no matter who tries to salt my game. There will always be haters who will always be there to bring me down and break my stride, but I have to keep moving. I owe this much to myself.
  • Make a promise to yourself, a vow, that you will never forget your core values, or you deserve to be punished*. Matisyahu talks about letting his right hand forget what it is supposed to do, and fire not coming out of this tongue as his punishment.

* I recently read about a good article on the power of vows. Here’s an excerpt:

When we make a promise, a subtle yet powerful shift takes place in our souls where intentions are housed. A vow is both a tool we employ in order to facilitate transformation within ourselves and an expression of will. Thus, to make an oath is to communicate to the universe and our deeper selves our commitment to the principles most important to us. Fulfilling a sacred vow—whether it is as complex as “’till death do us part” or as simple as “I promise”—challenges us, exercising our willpower and aiding personal growth.

When we speak a sacred vow out loud rather than reciting it in our minds or recording it on paper, our voices project our promises into the deepest reaches of the universe. It is important that we remember that a vow made with the sincerest of intentions has the power to carry on past our earthly lifetimes. A well-chosen vow encourages commitment and dedication.

A sacred vow, once spoken, becomes a part of your existence forevermore. Your view of the world around you may change, and your predominant thoughts and feelings will no doubt evolve with time, but the spirit in which your oaths were spoken will remain unaffected.

Your strength and character will inevitably be tested as circumstances make keeping promises increasingly challenging, but after you have shown yourself steadfast many times, your appreciation of the sanctity of vows will be cemented in your mind and soul.

Sep

16

Veracity — being honest with yourself

Filed Under failure, fear, quotes, self improvement, stanford, things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

I was reading an article published by MarcumSmith and in it, I learned a word that I have not previously known about but whose meaning I am familiar with.

Veracity is the English word for the Latin term veritas, which means truth. But why not just say the word truth if that’s what they meant by choosing it to describe what they found? Truth essentially refers to facts or reality; it implies accuracy and honesty. Veracity, however, differs slightly; veracity is the habitual pursuit of, and adherence to, truth.

Veracity differs from truth in action, not in value. So why is veracity so important—who doesn’t want the truth? It’s not that people don’t want the truth, but what portion we want is occasionally a different story. What part wouldn’t we want? The part that’s hard to hear. What fraction of the truth wouldn’t we want to address? The portion that’s hard to say.

There is a point and time in almost every important business discussion where we might be curiously exploring or intensely debating, and stumble upon brutal facts. If openness and progress are the outcome of humility, and innovation is the aim of curiosity, then veracity is the light that exposes the truth hidden in the shadows of habits and comfort zones.

Admitting your own failures and shortcomings are difficult sometimes. Veracity means to be honest with yourself, acknowledging weakness so that you can move on to address them. I _do_ want people to tell me the part they think would be hard to me to hear. I _do_ want to know the truth that is hard for me to swallow. Why? Because I believe in The Stockdale Paradox, as written by Jim Collins:

Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties; and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

Enough said. Sweeping the dirt under the rug doesn’t mean that the dirt is gone.

Sep

16

Continuously make conscious tough choices

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The world can shape you if you let it. To have a sense of yourself as you live, you must make conscious choices. Sometimes the choices are really hard, and you make a lot of mistakes.
– John Donahoe, President of eBay Marketplaces

Aug

14

Don’t wish the ride was smoother and keep smiling

Filed Under business, career, failure, fear, passion, quotes, self improvement, things to remind myself, uncategorized, values | Leave a Comment

Corollary to the quote I posted yesterday, a Google search for that quote yielded this page with a priceless story and timeless advice:

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting a man who, despite a severe speech impediment, had become the top salesman at his company. It was such an unlikely story that I asked him how he’d done it. He joked, “with a lot of bruises and scars.” He went on to say, “Not surprisingly, the road was terribly tough for me. I was awful in the beginning — and it lit a fire under me. It made me work harder than everyone else. I resented it then, but I’ve come to realize it was a blessing in disguise.”

Consider this:

In life, it’s the rough patches that build your strength and character. They test you. They make you dig deeper, think harder, and risk more. Use them to your advantage. Don’t play the victim. Get up and get creative. It’s what you do when the going gets tough that defines you.

Try this:

When you hit a rough patch:
1. Don’t wish the ride was smoother - it’s not supposed to be.
2. Use the challenge to get smarter.
3. Tackle one thing at a time - don’t overwhelm yourself.
4. Keep smiling throughout.

Question: How have you used rough seas to your advantage?

Jul

1

I will always do the right thing (core value of mine)

Filed Under business, career, self improvement, things to remind myself, uncategorized, values | Leave a Comment

Recently, a good friend of mine commented to me about how someone (let’s call him Mr. X) that I used to work with and I disliked, isn’t so bad of a person as long as one did not work with him. My friend said that because I had a bad experience with Mr. X, I’m not his friend today, but for those who have never been a colleague of Mr. X, they would be his friends. The point my friend was trying to make was that this guy was not a jerk outside of work, only at work, and that I would be Mr. X’s friend if I had never known him at work.

My reply to that was that, assuming that I never worked with Mr. X before, and became his friend, if I at a later date found out what a jerk he was at work, I would be lesser of a friend. Eventually becoming a non-friend. I rarely part ways like that with friends, but it has happened before. Relationships are two way streets. Last year I parted ways with a friend (in a less than desirable term), because I was giving up too much, and the relationship was just too lop-sided. That was someone else, not Mr. X.

Back to Mr. X. Why would I not be his friend, if he was only a bad person at work, and he wasn’t doing anything bad to me?

The answer was simple, and I didn’t even have to think hard. The values Mr. X stand for, and the actions that he exhibit, are against my personal core values.

I have a set of core values, and core values to me, are a standard that I will hold myself to, NO MATTER WHAT. My core values are carefully selected, and I will continue to practice my core values, even if the world shuns them. That’s an important test. When you build your set of core values, remember that they must pass the “popularity test”. If something you do suddenly becomes unpopular, and you decide to no longer do it, then that’s not a good core value. A core value is immutable, so carefully pick them.

One of my core values is: Doing The Right Thing

If that sounds vague to you, then what about Google’s core value of “Do No Evil”? Anyway, this value of mine basically means that, given a particular situation that I am in that requires my action, I will act according to what I think is the right thing to do. And this is something I will do, even if means that I have to make an unpopular choice. This is my standard that I have set for myself, feel free to bookmark this blog post and hold me accountable to what I have just said, should I future forget, and make a decision that’s not right.

Back to Mr. X. In my opinion, he does a lot of things at work to other people, that are not the right thing to do. But it’s not exactly blatantly wrong either, so he continues with his behavior. But deep down inside of me, it’s not right by my books, and I’m glad I don’t work with Mr. X. anymore.

The great thing about bad experiences, is that you learn from them. Granted, I haven’t learned what to do from Mr. X, but I have learned what NOT to do. Lots of it. I’ll describe my thoughts of an ideal person that I strive to be, and the things that I don’t want to be (and strive NOT to do).

Authenticity, transparency, and consistency

I like people who are authentic. The reason why I rank backstabbers worse than serial killers, child rapists, etc. is because backstabbers do it behind your back, while pretending to be your friend. To me, this is kind of like the Sarin attacks on the Tokyo subway. Those poor victims never stood a chance. The Sarin liquid is colorless, tasteless and has no odor. If those bad guys had the balls, they should have used guns or something. If someone is to kill me, do it to my face. Don’t do it behind my back. You declare war on a country before attacking. You don’t attack before declaring war.

Anyway, Mr. X was not exactly a backstabber, but he was a two-face bastard (in my book, a two-face bastard is not a full-fledged backstabber, but is on the right track to becoming one). Mr. X’s relationship modus operandi at work could be summed up as: If you were higher ranking than him at work, or if he thinks that you could help him, or indirectly do something to help him, he would be nice to you. Maybe even kiss your ass. However, if you are lower ranking than him, or if he knows there’s no way you could help him, or indirectly help him, he treats you like a second-class citizen. He’s not outright rude or anything, but a tad dishonest, sometimes even doing something to prevent you from advancing faster than him.

If you’re going to be a dick, by all means be a dick to everyone. Be a dick to people who you know can’t ever help you, and also the people who you know can help you. If you’re going to be a nice person, then be nice to everyone. Be nice and kiss your boss’s ass if you must, but also be nice to those who you know cannot help you. In short, don’t be a two-face bastard. Be consistent.

Mr. X would sell you something he himself wouldn’t buy. I simply can’t trust Mr. X, even when gives me advice, because sometimes the advice he gives me, is really in his own interest, not so much for me. Sometimes the so-called advice for me, really has nothing in it for me. It’s kind of like when someone says to you, “Hey, would you like to wash my car? It’s a great work out, and you look like you need a tan.” But phrase that in such a way that it looks like it benefits the person washing the car, not the owner of the car. “Hey, seriously, if you don’t do as I advice you to do, it’s really just bad for you. You should do it for your own good.”

Please. I wasn’t born yesterday. How about you do it first, and I’ll do it after I see you do it?

Authenticity helps build trust. When we trust each other, we can move forward and get real work done. We don’t spend time second guessing each other for a hidden agenda. I was constantly second guessing Mr. X. I can’t describe what a pain it is, living such a life of having to constantly second guess the people around you. Just to contrast, my current VP of Security Research Dan Hubbard is an awesome guy — I don’t second guess what he says. He tells it like it is, no beating around the bush, no having to look for double meanings. The team moves forward faster, without distrust. How do you unify a team to tackle a challenge with each member not trusting each other, and looking out for themselves only? YOU CAN’T.

Helping others succeed

Mr. X played the corporate big company political game of “playing your cards close to the vest”. Matter of fact, he regularly stole my best cards to be played as his, and amazed everyone with his winning streak. He hoarded valuable information and disseminated them based on the importance of the recipient to him, arguably an unfair but effective method of gaining control. The only problem is, he couldn’t find any valuable information on his own, so the valuable information he disseminated to others, were basically cut-paste jobs from my emails I sent him. Oh, the cut-paste email job conveniently strips out all indications that it he got the information from someone else.

In my opinion, that era of information hording to be powerful in the corporate work place is over. Look at the Web 2.0 phenomenon. Everyone is sharing information. The person who shares the most to benefit society, is considered the more powerful. They help others succeed. The person perceived to be full of valuable information but could possibly be a phony, IS NOT AS VALUABLE as the person who can actually deliver some value to you. If I knew you need something to be successful, and if I could not personally deliver it to you for your success, but if I knew of someone who can, I would introduce you both. I will admit I can’t help you with my own two hands, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t help you by connecting you to someone I know who can.

Given the choice of being perceived as someone true but not, and actually being someone true, but not necessarily perceived as such — I would pick the latter. If you’re a fake, eventually people will find out.

Also, I rather help others by giving them the ability to help themselves, rather than to force them come to me every single time. This is the “teach a man how to fish” philosophy. I rather teach you how to fish, than you give you a fish. I’ll give you a fish if you want, but that’s only a short term immediate benefit, and not sustainable in the long run for either of us. To contrast this with Mr. X, he would give you a fish for today, because he knows you will have to come back to him tomorrow. And he will do his best to actively prevent you from learning how to fish on your own.

They say that the people around you rub off on you. If you surround yourself with successful people, you too, would be successful. If that is so, then if I make the people around me successful, I too would be successful. Mr. X saw it as a zero sum game (if you win, I lose; so if I see you moving faster than me, I will slow you down). I disagree with that.

I observed that it’s mostly the little people who try to display their rank and power. The people with rank and power already know they have it, and don’t waste time proving it to their rank-and-files. Mr. X was slightly above rank-and-file, but he definitely made it known to others about whatever little power he had. I guess he forgot to check his ego at home before coming to work today. Again. Mr. X would be much more successful if we were back in the WWII era.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
– Mark Twain

To sum up, I knew about Mr. X’s two-face bastard attitude, my core values were mutually exclusive of his (some even conflicted), I could NOT operate autonomously, and our unfair lop-sided relationship resulted in my constant uncertainty and fear. He was impossible to read, was full of hidden agendas, and I had to constantly second guess him. That sealed the deal, my deal to resign, that is — and I left.

Hopefully I have not painted the picture that I am a saint — for I am not. I did have my naive moments, which I have since learned from. One of the great things about working with assholes, is that it builds character. I know that might sound cliche, but I speak for myself.

One of the reasons why I first started blogging, was to improve myself. I quickly found out that blogging provides transparency, as in, the internets will know what I’m about, and they can decide for themselves what they think of me (which I totally respect, good or bad). That reinforces that I need to be good, or else people would know that I’m actually bad, pretending to be good.

The other aspect I like about writing my blog, is that anybody reading my blog, can hold me accountable for what I say. Granted, I might sometimes write something when I’m half asleep, so that might not make much sense — but if you do the right thing, and judge me only by the well thought out articles that I really poured my full honest judgement into, .. then feel free to hold me accountable to what I say.

Jun

22

Not taking the easy way out

Filed Under things to remind myself, values | Leave a Comment

[SPOILER WARNING] - If you plan on watching the movie “Golden Door”, DO NOT PROCEED any further. The plot’s ending is outlined here.

Not too long ago, I implemented this new thing for myself where once a week, I would catch a movie on Wednesday night (or Thursday night) alone. Why? Well, I spend too much time at work, and when I’m not at work, I’m playing ice hockey, and that pretty much sums up my life right now. At any rate, it’s just a time period I’ve blocked out for myself to decompress, reflect, and maybe learn a thing or two from the movie.

Tonight, I watched Golden Door at the local independent theater. Basically, it’s a story of a dirt poor illiterate family in Sicily and the father (Salvatore Mancuso)’s dream of a better life, and his struggle to immigrate to the United States. Along the way, and stuck in the same boat and in the same class (the boat separated the “upper” class and the “lower” class), is this gorgeous, intelligent and elegant lady who obviously belongs to the upper class — but was stuck with the lower class. In the movie, it wasn’t clear how she fell out of place, but she was English and had no passport.

So anyway, during the journey, all the rich gentlemen from the upper class were actively wooing her, each of them boasting of their wealth, how he owns this big co. and that big co., and the promises of how “I can get you out of this [lower class] mess”. The lower class people had to sleep in really tight and filthy quarters on the boat. Living conditions for the poor was pretty bad on the boat.

The lady, Lucy Reed, did not take up any of their offers. However, since she had no passport, as a legal requirement, she needed to arrive in the US either married or engaged. As they neared the US harbor, she made her choice and asked Salvatore Mancuso (father of the poor family) if he would marry her. She did disclose to him that she needed a husband for entry to the country, and that their marriage was more out of convenience than love.

So why I am rambling about this? Well, because she didn’t take the easy way out. She could have married any of the wealthy gentlemen and be instantly elevated to “upper” class status, but she chose to stick it out with the lower class hardship and jump through all the immigration hoops designed for poor and illiterate people.

While it isn’t clear in the movie why she did that, it does remind me of an important lesson I have learned — that taking the easy way out is not always the answer. Sometimes, there will be a “deferred” price to pay, but a price, nonetheless.

In this movie (just to speculate), she probably valued her freedom and didn’t want to be tied down by a husband — be he rich or not. So she went with the simple and poor uncomplicated man. The rich gentlemen would probably have restricted her freedom more and be more strict with her, than the poor man. I’d imagine the rich gentleman insisting she be a stay-at-home wife, when she is more of the working-mom personality, which the latter would be aligned with the poor man’s strategy. The poor man could surely use all the bread-millers in the house he can get.

Here’s the trailer: